not sick enough?

I know i don't come here very often to post...i'm not doing very well.

I'm not sick enough to get help and i'm not healthy enough to do something to help myself.I hurt eveyone around me.I do efforts not to lose weight , but i'm not capable of gaining...so i stay at the same level.I'm going nowhere. They can see i'm not moving forward .

I was supose to go to a ''day hospital'' program in january and because at one apoitment i had gained a bit , they said that finally i won't have a place there before april! I'm not a priority anymore...

I don't even know why i do efforts not to lose if to their eyes it only means it's not urgent to help me.

I'm lost and i don't know where to go.